this shit is fucking awesome

so im at my interior desing firm job thing, and so bored that i practically just read all of my journal entries from the past. most of them are fucking depressing and i sound like a retard.

i really want to get a tattoo and i am thinking of a couple of ideas
1. a peace sign or the word peace
2. a quote something like "live life to the fullest"
3. a dinosaur or giraffe
4. or something to do with dance.

i want it to go on my side. i also had this idea of a cluster of hearts with the peace sign in the heart but they kind of look like pretzels instead of heart peace signs so thats most likely a no.

i figured out this week that i work on average somewhere between 40 to 45 hours a week.

also its crazy how you dont really miss something untill you do it again. i missed dance all last semester but not that much becasue i just accepted that i didnt have time for it but now that im dancing again i remember how much i love it and cant wait for next semester to start with the dance school!!!

also if anyone actually reads this i need some new music.....

so all i do is work.
its not to bad because im making money the whole time but its very tiresome.
im hostessing at gravitas and it really good. it can get boring at times when no one is coming in and all the waiters are busy and im there by myself but when the waiters arent super busy or when amanda and i are working together its a lot of fun. all the waiters are a good couple years older than me and amanda but they are super funny and they just crack us up all the time. the job is pretty funny cause you see a lot of different types of people and the way the act and like the drunk people and all that shit its really good.

butttttt there were three of us but one anette just quit on us so we have to work sooo much more. i worked a double today and i work tomorow and sunday. THANK GOD i have monday off and hopefully tuesday morning becasue i am going to try and work my other job on monday and tuesday mornings.

other than that my birthday was good. uneventful and totally made me miss EVERYONE in philly i love you guys and i just wish i didnt have to leave for like 3months. but i got
+ a really nice nikon digital camera slr thing...
+ a white gold, diamond necklace
+ 3 new leotards
+ a CUTE dress from express from my aunt

and the best thing is my mom is feeling uber generous since they no longer have to pay my brothers 40 grand+ tuition and rent so she has been buying me cute clothes like all the time and im loving it.

i mentioned towards my dad about a vaccation in india and he actually said that was a good idea...YAY!!!

why are universities so difficult?
so i went to get some form to say that i am going to double major in education and dance but guess what as of right now i cant. i have to decide. I DONT WANT TO DECIDE ON ONE I WANT BOTH

both of the colleges. college of ed and boyer school wont let me be in the other one because both of them have to be number one and niether of them offer the secondary major option because i have to be IN THERE COLLEGE AND NOT THE OTHER ONE. fuck you why cant i be in both???

so i went to the ed department and talked with a lady who took all my info and said that in the 15yrs she has done graduation clearance she has never seen education and dance double major. fuck i dont care if you havent seen it i want it to be done. she also tells me that i shouldnt do it becasue it will be too much time.

i fucking realize the time it will take to do a double major in two schools in which they are very specific in which classes i have to take, but i DONT CARE I CAN DO IT.

but then the lady at the ed office gave my info to her director to see if they could figure out something.

then i went to the dance department and talked to tanya and the bfa coordinator who at first just told me i had to decide between the two but then said that they are starting a minor. but the minor is not nearly as good as the major so i dont want to do that, but it is a last resort. then they both lit up saying they should call this lady and get her to figure something out.

so imhoping someone figures something out. but its really upsetting me. i understand why its not working but at the same time i dont understand it and akdvhs adhvuapgo;vzx.

so i found out today that i got into the Dance School at temple.
from this point forward i am going to be a double major in dance and elementary education maybe a minor in arabic but we will see.

i am just so happy that i got into the dance school!!! KDJHADIVLKNAFJBV

i have a week and 1/2 left of school and then 3 days off and then 2/3 exams and then sitting around for a couple days till the rents pick me up.
i cant believe freshman year is almost over it is incredible.
the best part about this is i get to be a 'freshman' all over again next year cause thats what they consider me as in the dance department but ill still be a sophmore in real terms i dont know aldkhvafh im excited



poooop

its been raining non-stop for a solid 24 hours.

right now its snowing and raining - disgusting

so this weekend my papa came into philly for the weekend and we had a blast walking around downtown philly in the SNOW...its disgusting becasue its april and we had snow flurries. what the fuck? but anyways we had a beautiful time together. saturday walked around old city and society hill all day and then sunday we went to jersey to have easter dinner with my grandma and my aunts and uncles and cousins and slept at grandmas house went into new york on monday and spent some good time with my brother saw his senior sculpture show which was very interesting. hes an amazing kid.
recently i have been comparing and processing the different lives that we have lived since he went away for college, and the differences in our college. the main one that i sort of focus on is the fact that at his school all the kids are there to do art (mostly) because they want to and that way they all have this understanding and share something ... but where at my school everyone around me is studying to do different things therefor there is less of this connection with people becasue not everyone is headed in the same direction..(i dont know if that makes sense whatever)

but on saturday my dad and i went to this quaint(sp?) bookstore at like south and second and he bought me Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami and i love it! Although in the time span that i have been reading i have started to remember all my dreams and they are getting weirder and weirder and involving random people that i know. i absolutely love the book although it makes me feel like i am missing something. i think jess recommended the book to me senior year!

oh yes i have exactly:
5 english classes left
5 math, enviromental, and world urban patterns classes left
8 ed 122 classes left

in the span of these next basically 2 weeks i have
2 english papers to do
1 english paper to revise
1 ed 122 paper to do
1 math test
1 world urban patterns test

and yet i sit here and do nothing on my papers. i hate my work ethic.

i finish on may 8th and get back to houston on may 13th hopefully start working the 14th

i've been listening to music ALOT lately and i love it but kind of need some new stuff any good recomendations???

i would also like some warm weather and a bike

i feel like a wasteless piece of poop



(i have an infatuation with the word poop)

i havent posted in forever. im bored and its almost 4am.

its early thursday morning...and im not quite sure where my week has gone. on sunday i felt like it was going to be a long week but is has been nothing like that. i feel like i am going to recap my week starting at sunday:

sunday: well this weekend i went to DC to visit katherine. AU is beautiful campus, kinda one of those perfect campuses like baylor if you will everything looks amazing. so i left DC round 1 and got into philly round 5/6ish and came back to campus and basically did shit most likely...i am very unproductive.

Monday: DID NOT GO SEE HARRYS ART SHOW....i wanted to go for opening day but he was to busy and hectic that it was too much stress for him so im going this monday. i went to ed class got out early. so i went and saw my english prof and talked to him about my 2nd paper....which didnt fail as miserably as my first and is actually promising. so we discussed what i had to improve. then i sat through english class which isnt that interesting, but whatevs i just hope i pass that fucking class. ....monday night jen kerri and i built a house out of bread in the hallway and got really strange looks from a lot of the girls then jen and i got screwed over by our ex-future roommates (jens roommate now) i mean basically fucked over for housing as they decided it would be better for us if we didnt live with them becasue the other 2 girls we found to live with us wouldnt mesh with jens and mine lifestyle... fucking ridiculous if you ask me. basically ruined the night for me

Tuesday: math test - Aced it. i love my easy math class. Enviro a fucking sub again my teacher hasnt been to class for liek 2 weeks, ridiculous. but we got out early so no complaints. then world urban patterns...a whatever class. got out early sat with krystale and a bunch kids at the belltower for a good 3/4 hours being lazy and getting nothing done. Sweat and Sculpt the best aerobics class ever, it fucking kills you. then fucked about did nothing watched some running with scissors but didnt finish it again.

Wednesday: classses. nap for 4/5 hours that has thrown me off my sleepingg schedule like crazy. went to the Phillies game for college night and froze my ass of. and have spent another night doing nothing.

i have too much work to do that i think it scares me so im putting it off. i should get on top of it though becasue my dad is coming in on saturday and im skipping classes on monday to go to nyc.

im really nervous for the summer. i am not going to be able to be away from everyone here. i wont be able to do it. they are just so much a part of my everyday life that not seeing them for a good 4 months just wont work.
i am also excited to go home though to see the parents etc. and work and make money and not have to do homework and go to class.

ps. i want to fucking know from the dance department if im in or not. hurry up and get to houston stupid letter

sorry this shit is pointless

im pretty much having a breakdown right now. my heart is beating really fast and my head is spinning. today has been overwhlemingly stressfull for no reason. i dont feel liek stating everything.
1. overdrew agian
2. housing sitch
3. mother
4. work
freaking out in general i dont know what it is but i fuckign hate it and i dont like being like this because i cant work.

and i walked all the way down to the 1st floor to get a soda to liek snap out of it and they are ALL SOLD OUT wtf????
it just made my night

so its one of those days i feel incredibly lethargic.
my mom came in this weekend and it was so nice to see her and just spend time with her. she got surgery last week on some cist in her stomach so we didnt do much but walk around center city. Friday harry and his friend jonah came into philly and had lunch with janice and i which was so nice. I love seeing my brother. he is crazy.
ALthough when i talk to my brother he is always doing something interesting and all these crazy projects. I wish i did a lot more with my life. i just never know what i want to do. you know?
But mom bought me a pair of timberland which made my weekend becasue now my feet will stay dry! love.

my head is just like blah right now and i need to write a 5 page paper for english. its my first paper for that class and i have this horrible feeling about it. Its just im not very good at writing at all and my teacher is pretty intense and i have just been slacking for no reason. I need to get on that because i cant let my grades fall at all.

i moved into my new dorm and absolutely love it. i am so glad i moved.
i have become incredibly lazy in a way that i dont do much in a day. but they disappear so quickly that i dont know where they go.
i have nothing really to say and i think a power nap would do me some good.

i think i have to take my eyebrow piercing out and its really bothering me. i feel like it shouldnt really bother me at all but i feel that my face is lonely without it. my face is just normal, like everybody elses if i dont have my eyebrow piercing in it.
see the reason i would take it out is becasue everytime i wake up the top ball is pretty much burying itself into the actual hole in my eyebrow and stretching it out and its fucking wierd and somewhat scares me.
so basically i just love my eyebrow piercing and dont want to part with it but feel i have to and its scary - i feel pretty pathetic saying that but whatever.

sometimes im scared that i put myself out there too much in certain situations and im getting a bad rep of sorts and i dont want that to happen. but i dont know how to stop it. i think im to gullable in a certain situation and that i just let myself go. and i hate myself afterwards but i dont change anything.

but one thing i love is i havent had make up on my face for a good 72 hours and that makes my life. i wont lie this has been a brilliant weekend.

love

so basically money is the worst thing in a college persons life. i mean atleast mine. i never have enough of it and its always dissapering into useless things. well nots say useless but more recreational uses that last only for a short time. And its not like i want a lot of money its just i never have money..
i use to get money at the begining of every month and it would be gone like half way through the month and i'd be broke for like 2 weeks. but now the parents have changed it so i get money every week. which has its ups and downs. as now my bank account will never have more than $50 in it at a time.
i just overdrew my one bank account like crazy and the parents are mad. but seriously i had no idea i dont get the bank statements and when they get to houston they are like 3 weeks late.

so this is my question can we just start trading instead of using money??

all in all money is my worst enemy right now.

other than money life is going pretty good.
im waiting to hear if i get to move dorms, and i really hope i can i mean i dont see why they wouldn't move me since there are about 3 free beds over in peabody (where i want to move). plus if i move then i get to redecorate and kind of sort all my shit out which will be nice.

well i dont really know who reads this anymore...if anybody.
so im bored
bue

so i havent written in here for ages. a lot has changed, and ive learned a lot about myself.
big changes
- i live in a different city
- have completly new friends
- love my school

you know a lot of shit has changed. its definately wierd to think that first semester of freshman year is over. I was graced with a pretty easy courseload thank fucking god, but im scared for next semester cause i will actually have to do shit. right now we are having study days so we dont have class so i spent my whole day in the city with my friends.

my room is a complete mess but i love it like that. i need to start studying for my 5 finals but right now they seem so far away since they start for me on tuesday and its thursday. i know they are important but i could care less right now.

i am now addicted to one tree hill, say what you want. its fucking cheesy and what not but i love it anyways.

so i started writing this like yesterday early evening. and now its friday around noon. i just woke up and went outside for breakfast and its fucking cold. its like -8 c outside akdvhjafdbvauk. thats fucking cold.
it snow flurried last night it was amazing i went crazy and everyone was laughing and noone would go outside with me so i went and played with the snow. it was good times

finals are upon me and this weekend is SO long its crazy. ive spent most of it watching one tree hill as of now we are trying to get through the 3rd season. we are like 1/2 way through.

peace peace peace
ps. we are all going to die of global warming. i'm dead fucking serious

so basically my parents are really pissing me off and all i want to do is yell at them but there are a few things that are stopping that
1. its graduation weekend suppsed to be happy
2. the grandma and two aunts are here
3. they will just say i have had made bad decisions lately and not let me do anything
4. they just need to go back to their normal selves

my mom is frustrating me like no other and has threatened my europe trip but that i know is happening so whatever to her. but i really think she is just sad to see me leave but she isnt making the situation any better.

ok i had soo many accidents today here it goes.
1. i go to starbucks being the wonderfull daughter i am to get my mom a latte and myself a hotchocolate and a chocolate pound cake (they are awesome) so i only have two hands and well thats three items. i place the pound cake in my mouth and set out towards my car with a HOT drink in each handi get to my car. fuck my keys are in my pocket so i set my hotchocolate ontop of the latte in my left hadn grab for my keys succesfully unlock my car but in the midst of trying to grab the door i some how spill my hotchocolate ALL OVER THE FRONT OF MYSELF but i only spilled like 1/5 of the drink which is pretty sweet.
2. so an hour a breakdance and like an hour of dance and i do like a simple little plie and my knee starts hurting liek its never hurt before. but im a bia and wokr throught it slash limp around for the rest of the hour of ballet
3. so then i have ensemble i make through most of it accident free until i get elbowed at full speed by katie straight into my forehead. (this is like the 4th time in dance where ive get kicked/hit/elbowed by someone in a dance in like a month)
4. phew all that done i get home my car starts fucking making wierd noises and acting REALLLLLLLLY strange so that to me is an 'accident' not really it was just not normal
5. i spent like an hour or so just standing/working in the dreadfull rainy weather of the early afternoon barefoot which i do not recommend cuase now i have like athletes foot or something. but it wont stop me from not wearing shoes i hate shoes
6. im cleaning my athletes foot thing and i bend down and then i bring my leg up and in the process of doing that i slam my knee into the corner of an oopen drawer (not to mentioon this is the knee that like fucking started crying udring my ballet class)

so that waas my day.
working off of 3 hrs sleep. 3 bowls of lucky charms. chocholate pound cake and 2 slices of pizza.

i miss my brother so much. i just got an email from him and started crying. well ive cried a lot recently but he signed love your brother. which he does like every email but this time i just started missing him incredible.
why am i stubborn about calling him/ why am i always so akward when i talk to him. i hope next time i see him/talk to him im not so akward.
but the next time i will see him will mostlikely be in europe cause hes not coming down for my graduation OR MY DANCE CONCERT.
but hopefully hell be at yale or duke or harvad (i cant remember where) doing a summer program that will greatly benefit his chance of getting into one of those schools for graduate school.
not to brag but my brother is amazing and got the highest votes by the professors to get into the program. so i feel its a guarenteed in for him. although he is very humble about the situation.

im scared i wont live up to his high standards.like all A's in his classes, 3 highly regarded jobs in the art world over in nyc. well 2 and then a school job. fuking having shows like all the time it seems.getting praised by ALLL his professors and just fucking being AMAZING.

i hold myself up those expectations. i want to be him but in the children education world.

today i thought of a lot of shit but the major things here
1. walking to the bus stop in 9th grade in the freezing cold before harry got his license. i liked wlaking to the bus and taking a bus to school.
2. i hate the way i ended things with chris reed. i think i may apologize to him cause that was really shitty of me. but on the other hand does he even like care?. it owuld be a nice gesture
3. i cry to fucking much right now.

and my mom had some funny things to say today
1. " go to temple and find yourself a nice black guy and you can have polkadot kids"
2. "lets go to planned parenthood and bring katherine"
3. "you need to learn how to swallow"

also i realy like machiavellis view on a lot of shit
especially religion
katherine said i was an anarchist because of it. ohwell.

my wish for tonight.
is that some weekend somebody would call me with something to do instead of me having to call people/not doing anything. it would be sweet

thanks

wow so i just looked back through my whole lj..

"friday --> sammy and i went to the zoo altho it was packed cause it was free! but it was fun.. then i went to mks where noelle, claire, mk and i proceeded to tattoo our body which was awesome then we went to see the rhino show ttwas good! saturday--> dance where i tore my knee to pieces...actually no i just hurt it then watched some movie and went to galleria w/ sam, noelle, claire, mk, ulsh, gavin, monkoooon, played some 4RECTANGLE where i suck but thats oky....then today.... i still have my tatoos on im never taking them off!! haaha school sucks and i never want to go to it"

www.theinterviewwithgod.com

oh and i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go to NYU

ok well since im talking about london i was talking to sam earlier and i was like i used to not be as quiet as i am now and he was all like why and this was my answer (or something like this) : i went through a huge tramatic move that changed my emotional and psychological being in which made me a different person. (i thought it was pretty funny cause i never talk like that....except for that one moment.)
^ thaz just funny/true

pass the cutest/ awesomest thing ive seen for a while =
i was driving home from sarah's house and i was driving down the street and i see a sighn that says tsunami donations and a little kid holding it up, being me i pull over and the dad comes up and says that i can get either a drink or candy so i choose a drink and the little boy said i could give any amount of money, being that i didnt have much in my wallet i gave them $3 they said thank you and the dad said "he was getting worried that nobody cared, thankyou for helping" it just moved me that a little kid (probably like 4th grade)could be smart enough or thinking about helping others and doing something about it.

so im just going to say last night feast at my house claire lost like 40 dollars...(i had to say it cause every1 has mentioned it in their lj and i thought why not....)

I'm going on POINTE - I AM SOO EXCITED

FFR

p.s. if you know the suprise that is happening to me friday please DONT TELL ME NO MATTER HOW MUCH I BEG YOU! thanks..actually i dont think any of you know so that doesnt matter. kahc lvi want it to be friday...

nd how my teacher didnt know that coke and cocaine are different untill her dad sat her down when she was 20 and told her...everyone started LAUGHING!

yesterday on my way to dance i got stopped by a train and it was from canada and on the side of one of the cars it said "fuck the states im canadian"

then we called nick - isas bf- at like 2 30 to wake him up cause it was 8 30 in the mornin there ! :) (isa remember when you dated nick)

this whole entry http://blowfish647.livejournal.com/2005/02/18/

hmm maybe sleeping on the floor is a bad idea..ahwellyou know last night before i went to sleep everything felt soooo peacefull, i really like sleeping on the floor on this little concoction of a bed ive made...peacefullness is soo nice...right now im just in such a calm, relaxed, not caring about anything really...ahh peacefullness is such a nice state to be in i love it...

life is simple
everything is simple
as long as you look at it in the right way

me sitting in my opars room in my house in AMERSHAM
watching a marathon of the brady bunch
woooooooooooooooooow
that was a cool little flashback
man that house was awesome
it was soo BIG - like wow - my room was massive

"20's for everybody"
"no its alright i already took mine.....i got from your desk.....i'm in a reallly wierd phase of my life.."

then i went bowling with zach robbie and claire and i basically beat EVERYONE'S asses it was pretty sweet...:)
Katherine and i basically stole each others CD's and then walked around my neighborhood taking pictures...it was nice...i felt artistic...xcept NO

ok well mommy and i just got my ears pierced and when we were driving home she was like this

its doesnt hurt really....ive got pretty bandaids
^ that caused sooo much shit.

if you drive a hummer i should have the right to launch rockets at you = fucking amazing comedian

mcdonalds told me on a bag that i am asian. the bag is now hanging up in my room. it is priceless and ofcourse anything that mcdonalds tells me i believe. ofcourse

xsweetart06x: elle? are you serious?

Auto response from blowfish647: umm who the fuck do you think you are
all i know is im anorexic
^ hahahahahaha that was fuuuuuuuunny


travis' bday was good
speeding ticket = not fun now i get to take a course or something i have to figure it out

tell me ill be spending 24 hours at school this week and i would agree and be like yes i am crazy to spend 24 hrs at EHS with 8th graders but i guess thats who i am

p.s. lock ins with 8th graders are amazing i recommend everyone attend at least one. :


3. slip n slides are amazing but my ribs hurt



ok im sick of doing that. all though it was fun ijust searched through a bajillion of my entries. kinda made me sad cause of all the fun times i used to have ohwellllllll
only 2 more months here.
sleeeeeeeeeeeep
so much for sb06

so i dont know how to cut. so ye today i made a cut little dress thing.
tell me what ya think

it can change length

and theres a cute little red button to keep it onnnnnnnnnnnnn

welps thats what i did todayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
oh and a baby shower were i babysat the cutest little twin girls adorable i LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LITTLE KIDS

so basically i made this sweet ass purse/hand bag thinggie

front

inside


back


my mommmy also bought me 2 cute dresses today
and

they are super cute.
i now must go make cookies for a baby shower tomorow

ive decided that the next boi thats asks me to be their girlfriend should use the nsync song to ask me
that would be my dream
adorable